Today, 10 years ago, my life came to a complete stop
and, in the days that followed, it would be flipped upside down. We left
Vanceburg, KY, bound for Ashland, KY. I hadn’t been feeling well for a few days
so while we were in Vanceburg, I went to the hospital in Maysville, KY. The
doctor in Maysville did a cursory exam and told me that I had a kidney
infection. He prescribed some antibiotics and sent me packing. Well by the end
of the drive to Ashland, I was doubling over in pain. My mother rushed me to
the emergency room at Kings Daughter Memorial Hospital and after listening to
me describe my symptoms, the Doctor did a full medical workup. When the results
for the blood-work came back, the doctor thought I had appendicitis so he sent
me for a cat scan to confirm his diagnosis. Little did we both know what lay in
store. The results showed a large mass in my abdomen. I was admitted and
scheduled for surgery two days later on Monday.
After I woke up, the doctor told me he removed one
of my ovaries that had a ten pound tumor attached. He thought the tumor was
benign since it was so large and I really hadn’t been experiencing ill health
until that week. He said the pathology would be back at the end of the week to
determine if it was cancer or not. That Friday, I received the news everyone
dreads: the tumor was indeed malignant… I had CANCER. I was scheduled to follow up with a GYN
Oncologist two weeks later. I was told before he discharged me that he didn’t
think it was an aggressive type of cancer. I suppose he said that to calm my
fears. After all, I had just turned 30 and I wasn’t ready to face my own
mortality. I left the hospital and went home with my sister-in-law to
recuperate. After staying with her for about a week, I insisted that I was well
enough to go back to work. She of course knew better but I was adamant. I know
now I was trying to run from my diagnosis. I thought that by going back to
work, my life would return to normal and I wouldn’t have to confront my demons.
After a week back with the Circus, I made a return
trip to Ashland to see the GYN Oncologist and discover what kind of cancer I
actually had. What he told me just devastated me more. The pathology showed an
extremely aggressive cancer called Mixed Mullerian Tumor, or Carcinosarcoma. He
was shocked to see it in someone my age. It’s a cancer that affects
post-menopausal women. He told me my traveling days were done and I needed to
seek immediate medical attention to get the full scope on how far my cancer had
spread. We decided to look for an oncologist around the area my sister-in-law
& brother lived. An appointment was set up and a week later I was boarding
a flight in Washington, DC to take me away from the job I loved. The night
before I left, the entire show turned out for my farewell party. I cried later
that night, not knowing if I would ever see them again. I landed and the next
day, I met with my second oncologist. After meeting with that oncologist, I was
scheduled for another surgery. So for the second time in less than two months,
I was admitted to the hospital. I was given a radical hysterectomy, along with
an omentectomy. The omentum is a layer of tissue that hangs down from the
stomach and a place cancer cells love to inhabit.
After that surgery, I decided to find out all I
could about the type of cancer I had. Every article I found on the internet didn’t
offer much hope for a long life. Most patients diagnosed with this type of
cancer died within two years. There were a few patients that lived 3-4 years
with it, but almost all died before 5 years passed. Naturally, I freaked out!!
Here I was, 30 years old, thinking I was going to die before I turned 35. The
doctor tried to assure me that every patient was different and nothing was set
in stone. I wanted so desperately to believe him but gloom settled over me like
a black cloud. I became so depressed that I lost myself in that gloom. I
eventually let go of that black cloud and decided that if I was to die young, I
wouldn’t want to spend my final days wrapped in misery.
I went through two years of checkups every three
months to make sure the cancer hadn’t returned. After the two years, they made
the checkups every six months. Still, the cancer didn’t come back. Now 10 years
later, I am still CANCER FREE!! I am so
glad that I learned to let go and live life to the fullest.
For anyone newly diagnosed with cancer, remember
that it is a fight that can be won, even if the odds seemed stacked against
you. Don’t let gloom and despair be your companions; instead let the love of
God shine through to light your darkest hour. I know it was through His love
that I was given a new chance at life.
To close, I’m posting a favorite video of mine by
Tim McGraw. The title: LIVE LIKE YOU WERE DYING. I know I have ever since I was given this new
lease on life.